Two homilies on forgiveness

Forgiveness 1: September 4
texts: Ex 12:1-14; Ps 149; Rom 13:8-14; Mt 18: 15-20

How many of you have been hurt by another person?
How many of you have hurt another person?
Is there anyone that can't say 'yes' to both those questions. We hurt and we are hurt..all of us. As much as we talk about “love your neighbour as yourself” and about the importance of community, the reality is that we hurt and we are hurt by others. None of us are exempt from this economy of hurt. So what are we to do? How do we deal with it? Many relationships are destroyed by it. Many people's spirits are broken, and many are so burdened by the hurts and/or guilt they carry that their lives are bent and even crushed by it. What are we to do? Can we talk about new beginnings ~ our first lesson is all about the Israelites' preparation for leaving Egypt – their day of freedom from slavery. Can we imagine new beginnings, freedom from the burdens of our hurts and hurting? Can we imagine the healing of our relationships?

This is the work of faith. It is part of the word of hope that we bear individually and as a church – that its possible, that is worth the work. Now anyone who has even the slightest knowledge of church history knows that there has been a lot of conflict, a lot of hurting, and many many torn relationships within the Christian family, let alone between people of faith and those outside of the circle. We are not exempt from the economy of hurt. We too must do the work of healing and reconciliation.

Our gospel reading talks about a process for when
another member of the church sins against you...
And that process rules out silence, or worse gossip. It says to start by talking... one on one; and if that doesn't settle things up, then broadening the circle to include two or three others and if that doesn't heal things up, then including the whole church – the whole community. And at the heart of the process is the verb 'listening, listening, listening.' And Jesus underlines the importance of this work of reconciliation with his comment:
Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
And if that wasn't enough, he says if this dialogue process doesn't work – if Pharaoh's heart [the offender's heart] is hardened, then Jesus adds:
let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.

Now any conflict mediator will say this is way, way too simplistic. It doesn't account for power imbalances. It will never safe guard the vulnerable or a courageous whistle blower or reformer. And you know even our scriptures have much more to say on this than this little fragment of scripture we heard this morning. In fact this could be a cautionary tale for not taking a fragment of scripture out of context. For on either side of this passage are important caveats to a simplistic reading of this process. Right before this passage is the parable of the lost sheep and the shepherd who leaves the 99 to search for the lost one. And right after this passage is Jesus' response to Peter's
‘Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?’ [and]Jesus said to him, ‘Not seven times, but, I tell you, seventy-seven times.
And so next week we will talk about the hard work of forgiveness and its powerful role in healing relationships. That's the scripture immediately before and after this morning's text. But overarching or under-girding these texts is Jesus' crucifixion. When we hear “let such a one be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector,” we can first think let the offender be excluded, a cast out one, a person outside of the circle. But then we must remember:
Jesus' reputation as friend of just those tax collectors and sinners; and
Jesus earlier in Matthew saying to the righteous ones of his day: ‘Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, “I desire mercy, not sacrifice.” For I have come to call not the righteous but sinners;’” and
then there is the stark reminder of the cross itself: Jesus' giving his life for sinners surrounded by sinners outside the city gate rejected as a sinner by his own people.
Do not all these powerful texts push anyone gathering in Jesus' name to the hard, forever, work of searching for and including the excluded. For, there is a deeper centre to our text.
For where two or three are gathered in my name than I am there among them
If we centre in Jesus and in his way - “in his name,” then our gospel cannot be about excluding the offender and maintaining the righteousness of the circle. There is no rest for us who gather in his name until every last hurting, hurtful fragment of creation is at peace at the table. Yes, that peace must be real. It must be rooted in justice and truth, but also mercy. And we know that this kind of peace is only even possible to imagine, if it is grounded in the infinite love and grace flowing from the Heart and Wisdom of our Universe.

But... not only are we in the circle addressing one who has sinned against us, we are individually and as the church the sinner, the offender. So much hurt has been caused in Jesus' name over the centuries, and even in our own life times. We too must listen hard and then listen again to those whom we have hurt. We must soften our hearts to hear and repent of the hurt we have caused – either directly ourselves, or indirectly by others gathered in Jesus' name. And so we listen carefully to the work and reports of the Truth and Reconciliation Commission. We listen carefully to the hurt caused gays, lesbians and transgendered people in Jesus' name. We listen carefully to the offence given in Jesus' name to Muslims, Jews, and other Christians not like us. And we repent and seek forgiveness and continue the hard, forever work of loving our neighbour as ourselves...for “love is the fulfilling of the law.” From this place with mercy and grace, courage and perseverance we can heal. The past need not be the future. It is through the economy of grace that we move through the economy of hurt to a new beginning – to a place where we can together “sing to the Lord a new song.”

We'll continue these reflections next week ~ 10 years after the first September 11 when we got this all so wrong....... Thanks be to God for God's mercy, for the testimony of the cross always before us, and for the renewal of spirits here at the table week after week.

Forgiveness 2: September 11
texts: Ex 14:19-31; Ps 114; Rom 14:1-12 ; Mt 18: 21-35

We start today where we started last week... with the economy of hurt: we hurt, we are hurt; and with the economy of grace: the healing of hurts. And we talked about the hard, forever work of loving our neighbour as ourselves – the work of the kingdom – the work of community. And I asked the question: Can we even imagine new beginnings, freedom from the burdens of our hurts and hurting, the burdens that crush a spirit and warp a life? Can we imagine the healing of our relationships? And we ask this question
not only as individuals who have hurt and been hurt; but also
as a church, people gathered in Jesus' name who have hurt and been hurt; and also
today in particular, we ask this as N.Americans responding to the hurts and hurting of September 11, ten years ago until today.

And the backdrop for this question is the crossing of the Red Sea – the vanquishing of the army of the great empire of the day. The wind “turned the sea [that great image of the original chaos] into dry land; and the waters were divided.[just as in the original third day of creation] The Israelites went into the sea on dry ground... yes, they dared to go into this unknown, unfolding movement to freedom, away from slavery, towards a new land. Someone took the first step and the people followed. But Pharaoh's army, bent on destruction, on the old ways, were swallowed up in mud and drowned. At first glance this is a classic story of the victim triumphing over their oppressor. But taken as whole account, the victims spend the next 40 years in the wilderness learning God's ways. They don't enter the new land immediately. It takes a long time, more than a generation to lay aside, to forget the ways of the empire and learn a new way.

Today we hear Peter ask Jesus:
"Lord, if another member of the church sins against me, how often should I forgive? As many as seven times?"
And Jesus explodes the question, because its not about counting, its not about how many times, it's about the economy you're in: hurt or grace; its about the ways of the empire and the ways of God. Forgiveness comes from a whole different source than hurt. We all know the currency of the economy of hurt: pain, shame, guilt, resentment, retribution, vengeance. And what we buy, what's created with these transactions is increasing separation and alienation, brokenness, fragmentation, and often enmity, escalating suspicion of the other. Our gospel's imagery of slavery, prison and torture are not too strong. What's traded in the economy of grace is love, forgiveness, grace, mercy, truth, understanding, empathy; and what's created in this economy is life, community, neighbourliness, connection.

Now, the theory is good, but oh the practice is hard. In fact without the last sentence of our reading last week we would have real reason to despair. But Jesus says:
where two or three are gathered in my name, I am there among them.’
Healing is possible because its rooted in God, in the limitless aquifer of God's love and grace. When we gather as hurting folk in his name longing for the kingdom for the ways shaped by the economy grace, Jesus is present. Thanks be to God.

Years ago I bought a book because of its title: “Don't forgive too soon.” And this is how the book starts:
“This book is about forgiveness. Anyone who has bothered to buy this book probably knows that forgiveness is a critical part of our deep human longing to give and receive love in enduring relationships. Nevertheless, many of us have good reason not to like being told we should forgive.” And that, I think, is because its hard work. We're much more familiar with the economy of hurt than that of grace. Plus it takes time. It's not cheap. And so the authors: Dennis, Sheila and Matthew Linn, go on to outline the hard work of genuine forgiveness – the kind that opens to freedom. The sub-title of the book “extending the 2 hands that heal” begins their description of the how-to's, the practice of forgiveness. One hand of healing is the one that says 'no' to the oppressor, “no you can't do that anymore. The path of forgiveness is not about passivity in the face of abuse, its about nonviolent engagement. The other hand of healing is the reclaiming of the victim, the hurt one. The 5 stages that the Linns describe parallel those in the dying process:
First there's denial – I wasn't hurt; it's nothing;
then anger – it's all their fault;
then bargaining – I'll forgive if this and that happens;
then depression – it's my fault or I have to carry it all;
and then acceptance – learn and move on; it shrinks, lightens and we can release the hurt.
Now depending the depth or significance of the hurt, this process can be a life time process. It can feel like Jesus' answer to Peter: 77 times or in other translations 70 times 7! But the direction of it all is towards healing and the rebuilding of relationship. Although, as the Linns say:
Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation and the 5 stages do not guarantee that the person who hurt us will respond in a way that makes reconciliation possible. What the stages of forgiveness do guarantee is that we will be different as we forgive... We can get out of the victim/oppressor loop...
We move through the wilderness into the promised land – free.

One of the challenges for N.Americans is that we have imagined that forgiveness is the work of an individual. I don't think that's so. It comes out of and is sustained by loving community. People who listen, support, encourage, challenge. It is not a solitary journey. In fact it requires seeing deep, deep down under all surface turbulence and particulars to our shared humanness to our relatedness our common origin. Is it possible to forgive? Even events as horrendous as happened on the original 9/11? Is there another way than a “war on terror” that seems only to breed terror? In faith I say yes, absolutely! And the fruits of that work, that other way are rich and delicious. And in honesty we must also ask the at least as challenging parallel question, is it possible when we have hurt an other, when we have been the offenders, is it possible to wait in love for the forgiveness which will free us to move towards a restored relationship. In hope I say yes, not only is it possible, but it is worth the wait, the patient loving that knows that forgiveness is always a gift and comes not too soon, but only when the work's done.

So as people gathered in Jesus' name, in community, trusting in Jesus' presence and the power of the Holy Spirit, we do the hard, forever, work of loving our neighbours as ourselves. It is kingdom work for the economy of the kingdom is grace.